Friday, August 20, 2004

One Ring to Rule them All

I’m still just coming to terms that we do not have another Lord of the Rings movie coming out this Christmas. Sure, we have the extended DVD of Return of the King, but c’mon, that is NOT the same.

That entire trilogy was a gift, from Peter Jackson, to all of us. After watching the DVDS and the documentaries on the discs, you quickly learn just how much Jackson put into these films. These movies were landmarks and for two consecutive years, I looked forward with giddy excitement to the holiday movie season. No more. I mean, it was brilliant marketing. Split the movies and show them a year apart, long enough to generate rabid anticipation, but short enough to avoid being cruel. In between, releasing DVDs that only added to the experience. I don’t like to think I can be manipulated by clever marketing (I STILL regret paying $200 for those Air Jordan’s and I STILL can’t dunk.), but I have to give the LOTR people their props. It was brilliant, and I fell for it all. As I type this, I’m wearing my LOTR underoo pajamas.

And what makes this entire situation all the more tragic is that there is one more movie in the Star Wars series coming out. It’s like rubbing salt in an open wound. Jackson’s accomplishment made Lucas’ folly all the more obvious. Lucas must wake up every morning sick to his stomach, thinking what a pathetic joke his prequel movies have been, and having to compare them with Jackson’s masterpiece. I can just see Lucas slumped over, dry heaving in a toilet, pondering his failure to himself, and more importantly, to us.

Is anyone even excited about the final Star Wars? I’m not. I mean, with the first two being complete and total disasters, why would the third one be any different? I’m convinced Darth Vader will make his appearance during some galactic dance contest. Obi Wan will be doing the space funky chicken, and Vader will appear in his armor, to challenge Obi Wan, with his trademark ‘el guapo.’ Sound ridiculous? Far fetched? Ok, just imagine Lucas inserting a scene where Obi Wan visiting a ‘galactic space diner’, with a sassy robot waitress…wait, that DID happen. Nuff said.



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